Perhaps misfiled as much of this is all too true:
Ableism: the idea that ability, competence, achievement, and merit are somehow better than their opposites. A disgusting remnant of a White, patriarchal society that must be eviscerated with all due haste
The Administrative State: Rule by an overwhelming minority.
Advocate: People without real jobs who live to complain.
Adult: A 12-year-old who wants to have his or her genitalia removed
“American Leadership” (especially on the “glo0bal stage”): Blank check.
Bigotry: opposition to any belief or opinion held by a “progressive.”
Child: A legal adult under 21 who wants to own a gun.
Compromise: Moving left to the position the left wants.
Consensus: When everyone agrees with the agenda of the left.
Conservatism: an existential threat to our democracy, practiced by bad people. Must not be tolerated.
Conversation about. . ., We Need to Have a National: You shut up and agree with liberalism.
* Dark Money. n. Charitable donations from the private sector to support research that the academic far-left does not like for political reasons.
Democracy: Any institutional design or voting system that enables the left to get what it wants. [Updated version: “Our democracyTM”—democracy as the left defines it]
Democracy, Threat to: 1. When Republicans win an election. 2. Threat to Democrats.
Denier: Label for anyone who dissents from leftist positions that can’t be successfully defended (or who didn’t vote for Liz Cheney)
Dialogue: A monologue where the Left explains and the Right agrees. (See also “Conversation about. . .”)
Disinformation: Anything a conservative says.
Diversity: Where everyone looks different, but thinks the same thing, and speaks in identical cliches.
Diversity (2): the lifeblood of our democracy, enriching all of us.
Divisive: Any opinion the left doesn’t like.
Dr. Fauci: a God-like figure who actually exists, and selflessly serves humanity in the blessed name of “science.” Hallowed be His name and peace be upon Him forever and ever. Amen.
Equality: An oppressive term, because treating individuals the same interferes with “equity.”
Equity: The phrase leftists use when they reach for your wallet.
Extremist: someone who disagrees with a Democrat.
Fairness: when progressive ideas and/or candidates carry the day. (Antonym, unfairness: when conservative ideas and/or candidates carry the day.)
Far-right: this term is rightfully applied to any individuals or groups who oppose Democratic/woke policies and talking points.
Fascist: someone who disagrees with a Democrat.
Free speech: The firebombing of public buildings by Leftists.
God: a mythical figure, created by conservatives to impose their arbitrary version of morality on sexual minorities and non-conformists.
“Hate speech”: Any statement that challenges the dogmas of the left. Usually deployed whenever a conservative is about to win an argument. (See also, “Racism.”)
Heterosexual: a boring, old, unhip, and often intolerant group of individuals that cling to outmoded ideas of sexual relationships and complementarity.
Holistic: Leftist adjective for “we have no idea what to do about a problem and want to change the subject”
Homeless became the “unhoused.” This subtle shift, verging on the passive voice, shifts the burden from the individual to society, or someone. “Unhoused” by whom? It implies people lack shelter through no fault of their own, but because “society” has deprived them of their right to housing.
Human rights: Any good thing that anyone can think of becomes a “fundamental” human right, or positive goods the government is now obligated to provide to you at someone else’s expense.
Illegal aliens (more properly called “undocumented immigrant”): downtrodden and oppressed, these people must be allowed free access into our country and the freedom to go wherever they like, in any quantity, without restraint. They bring much needed diversity and skill sets to our land. They should be entitled to vote and get government welfare, education, medical care, and all other entitlements upon arrival. (Update: The term has recently been modified to “recent arrivals.”)
Invasive species: a dire threat to our land, whose spread must be stopped at all costs. These insidious invaders often overwhelm and supplant indigenous species. (Note: Term does not apply to any humans from cultures hostile to America.)
Inclusion: The deliberate exclusion of white males.
Inclusive: Favorite term of privileged people at exclusive institutions, like Harvard.
Inflation: the consequence of the federal government spending an insufficient amount of money. Alternative definition: something caused by Vladimir Putin.
“Investment”: Democrat-speak for “spending money on our favorite constituency groups.”
“Journalist”: A stenographer for the Left. (Alt. defn: Democratic activist with a byline.)
Justice: when Democrats prevail. (Antonym, injustice: when conservatives prevail.)
Latinx: What comes before Latiny and Latinz. (Or it’s a long-lost sixth declension.)
Liberal double-standards: If whites leave central cities, it’s “white flight.” If whites move into central cities, it’s “gentrification.” If banks don’t loan to minority applicants with weak credit scores, it’s “red-lining.” If banks do loan to minorities, it’s “predatory lending.” If business competitors charge the same price, it’s “collusion.” If one competitor charges a lower price, it’s predatory pricing.” See a pattern here?
The left: How dare men make law about abortion!
Also the left: Men can get pregnant.
Living Constitution: The written Constitution is dead.
Man: though there is no currently agreed on definition for this amorphous term, all can agree that testosterone-fueled toxic masculinity — and the patriarchy — are very bad things indeed.
Meritocracy: Created originally by liberals, now means racism/white supremacy.
Misinformation: any report, data, or information, regardless of veracity and legitimacy, that does not confirm/affirm Democrats’ talking points and advance their agenda.
“Misleading”: In Campus-speak, like Orwell’s Newspeak, “misleading” means “true, but ideologically embarrassing.”
Multiculturalism: A favorite term of people who inhabit an intellectual monoculture (often known as “universities”).
Nationalism: Patriotism that liberals don’t like.
Neoliberalism: Anything the left doesn’t like. (Often a synonym for “racism.”)
Populism: When the wrong person or cause wins a free election, like Brexit or Trump.
[Alternative: John Gray’s definition—“Populism is a term used by centrist liberals to describe political blowback from the disruption of society produced by their policies.” (In The New Statesman.)
Pride!: what everyone who isn’t heterosexual should have… and should shove in heterosexuals’ faces at every opportunity.
Property: Theft. (See Marx, Karl, & Proudhon, Joseph.)
Public-Private Partnership: A half-baked feel-good proposal doomed to inevitable failure resulting from inept management by government officials with no business experience. Syn: “urban renewal”.
Queer: another term for homosexual. Synonymous with Pride! (See above.)
Racism: Any kind of resistance, conscious or unconscious, to the political program of the left.
Reform: Coming from a leftist, “reform” means destroying an existing institution.
Root causes: Method of deflecting attention from solutions that can relieve a problem immediately (like locking up criminals instead of playing catch and release).
“Re-Imagine”: The term used by leftists who think their dreams can become reality simply with a mere act of will. Term not found in conservative vocabulary.
Riot: a mostly peaceful demonstration by the oppressed against their oppressors. (As opposed to an “insurrection,” which is when conservatives and patriots challenge their rulers.)
Social justice: Alternative phrase leftists use when reaching for your wallet. (See “equity,” above.)
“Stakeholders”: Self-appointed advocates who demand the right to tell you how to run your business.
“Structural oppression”: Synonym for “we hate capitalism.”
Terrorist: someone who disagrees with a Democrat.
“Threat to democracy”: Threat to Democrats.
Tolerance: A euphemism for “you must abandon all moral convictions, because we say so.”
Tolerance (2): the highest virtue for conservatives to exercise toward those on the left, one that affords respect to all of us, regardless of our differences. Democrats need not exercise this virtue in dealing with Republicans.
Uniparty: used to describe the bipartisanship and unity to which we all aspire. Achieved when Republicans cave to Democrat demands. (Which, fortunately, is nearly always.)
Violence: The expression of conservative ideas.
Voter Suppression: Elimination of Democrat election fraud.
Woke (1): The belief that (1) all of society is currently and intentionally structured to oppress, (2) all gaps in performance between large groups illustrate this, and (3) the solution is ‘equity’—proportional representation without regard to performance. (From Wilfred Reilly)
Woke (2): A state of awareness only achieved by those dumb enough to find injustice in everything except their own behavior.
Woman: there is no currently agreed on definition for this amorphous term. [Except in Britain. Terms and conditions apply]
Appendix: Paradoxes of Our Age
• Burning the American flag is protected speech under the First Amendment, but burning a pride flag is a hate crime punishable by law.
• Boys are no longer allowed do dress up as cowboys and Indians (another hate crime), but are allowed to dress up as women and become one.
Bonus entries:
LGBTQIA+: a diverse and loving community of tolerant individuals who have been the victims of bigotry and injustice in this country due to systemic homophobia and misogyny.
Mentally-challenged individual: someone who disagrees with a Democrat.
Terrorist: someone who disagrees with a Democrat.
Tolerance: the highest virtue for conservatives to exercise toward those on the left, one that affords respect to all of us, regardless of our differences. Democrats need not exercise this virtue in dealing with Republicans.
“We need to have a conversation about. . .”: You shut up and agree with the left.
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